I love Esma, I really do. She’s like my soul sister.
I have a job in the service industry as the front end staff for the local humane society. I love it at work. It’s quiet and the cats don’t talk back. I know what I’m supposed to accomplish, and when I’m done I can leave it all behind and go home.
Home is another matter. There is laundry and dishes and floors to be swept and meals to be made and lunches to pack and kids to pick up and…
You get the drift. That service industry is overwhelming.
Sometimes I wish I was one of those moms who could just be like “meh. whatever. I’ll get to it tomorrow.” I can’t do that. I can’t do the messy house look. I can’t do the “we’re having cereal for supper, again.” It makes me crazy and all judgy of myself. ( I know, I know, I’m working on it..)
When I was at my doctor visit, she told me that I needed to exercise every day to help my anxiety and adrenal fatigue. Nothing huge, even just 10 minutes a day to start. Then have a nap.
My reaction: ” So I’m supposed to exercise and then nap and then try and get all the stuff done in my day that I need to do?!” Cue tears.
This is the same doctor who originally diagnosed me with depression when I was 17. She gave me my first anti-depressant. She has followed me though this mental health battle for the last 20 years.
She gently and kindly asked if maybe I should try some Zoloft. I do not want to try some Zoloft. I do not want to try anything. I hate being on meds.
So this is what I did. I started doing 10 minutes of exercise. And a little tiny bit of yoga. And like 40 sit-ups because something needs to be done about my midsection. I also bought a therapy lamp to help with the whole depression/anxiety/tiredness.
And it’s kinda working. The anxiety isn’t so crazy. I have a bit more energy. I’ll make another appointment with my therapist and we will go from there.
Why is self-care so much work?! What do you do to take care of yourself?