In which switching houses causes the world to end.
We move tomorrow. This is a good thing because G and I are already exhausted and a longer wait would cause a total collapse of body, mind, and spirit. Also, my house wouldn’t pass a current fire evacuation plan. The boxes are taking over my life and both of my house exits.
I am excited to move. It will be a fresh start for all of us. However I don’t think I fully appreciated the amount of emotional processing this was going to take for my children and myself. We have lived here for six years. My girls don’t remember living anywhere else. They lost their father living here. I lost a husband while living here. There are a lot of memories and emotions for all of us.
I had this little chat with all the kids a few weeks ago. It went something like this “I know moving can be a stressful time for everyone. You may feel a whole spectrum of different emotions and that’s ok. It’s perfectly normal.”
I think I had some sort of deluded idea that my speech would actually help there to be less emotions. It didn’t work. My children have all collapsed into tears and yelling at some point. Some of them numerous times. I’ve got one kid who is high as a kite one minute and putting his head on my shoulder saying “I’m sad!” the next minute. I’ve got a daughter who literally sat on her floor and sobbed about how stressed out she was because she just had so much packing she had to do. She had like three boxes…..I wasn’t overly sympathetic.
And then there’s Seven. She’s handling it so well that I’m getting phone calls from the school asking if everything is ok at home because her behaviour at school has gotten rather out of hand…let’s just say I wasn’t overly surprised.
I sat down with Seven and her sister and did this lovely Circle of Control exercise and it’s helped a lot! We looked at the one below and then made our own poster. As you can guess, outside of the circle were things like moving, divorce, remarriage, my teacher, my dad’s actions, and so on..the inside looked a lot like the one listed below. It helped Seven to see how many things she could control when so many things have felt outside her control. And for her, control is a big deal! My boys were creeping around in the background pretending they weren’t listening, but it has been helpful for them as well. They just won’t admit it.
You can use this one or make your own, there’s a free online printable one that’s blank. I love Pinterest.
The two girls are going to share a room at our new house. I’m kinda thinking there will be one or two or thirty battles happening there. I’ve got one princess and one kid whose favourite colour has been black since she was two. I’ve already printed off three “sharing a bedroom rules” posters to try and help them learn to live together. I think my attempts are futile, if not well intentioned.
Our new house has a hot tub, the one requirement from our teens in our house search. I’m looking forward to crawling into it tomorrow night.