Why do family relationships have to be this way?
I haven’t posted in a while. Partly because I’ve been sick as a dog for like a week, and partly because we’ve been busy with the Easter season and with selling our house.
Yup. We’re moving. Because who doesn’t like packing up a house of eight and all the lovely chaos that brings! Luckily my father brings me boxes so I don’t have to attend to that annoying detail…more on this latest development in another post…
Anyway, on to Easter.
This post isn’t specifically about Easter as a holiday, but about how holidays can be hard on families.
This year we were lucky enough to have two Easter dinners. One with my side of the family, and one with G’s Aunt and Uncle. His Aunt and Uncle have become like parents for him because his own immediate family has wholeheartedly rejected him. And as far as his parents are concerned, I don’t even exist.
It was funny, I was driving home the other day and I passed his mom on the highway.
“Oh, there’s my mother-in-law!” I exclaimed. It felt really, really weird, because the woman hasn’t said a word to me in three years.
I don’t get it. I don’t understand how people who claim to love Jesus can treat their own flesh and blood so poorly. I don’t understand how they can reject their firstborn son, rob him of his inheritance, and strip him of his livelihood because he ended up with a failed marriage. Add to that, the thought of someone new in his life was, for them, unforgivable and therefore unacceptable. He was completely rejected by his father, his mother, and his brother. Some testimony of God’s love..
That two years of his undoing, of his unbecoming who he thought he was supposed to be, was pure and utter hell.
Do they really have no idea what they’ve done to their son?
This is the part where I should be all Jesus-like and talk about forgiveness and grace and whatnot but I’m not feelin’ it right now. Right now I’m just mad.
My husband is amazing.
He has men call him at all hours of the night and women who break down in front of him at his job, because they know he gets it. They know that despite their own story, their own rejections and failures and mistakes, they are LOVED by God. They know that they can have hope. They know that they can have a future. They know that they have a God who is for them, who will be with them and carry them through, each and every day.
And how do they know this? Why do they call G?
Because he models it. He lives it each and every day. He will tell you he screwed up. He will also tell you that he is loved of God. And most importantly, he will tell you that he isn’t there to judge you, or condemn you, or tell you what you need to do to get your life in order so that you can be acceptable again.
He will just listen to you, and love you the best way that he knows how.
There were valuable lessons to be learned in those terrible two years. G learned how to love others the way we are called by Christ to love others.
No judgment, no condemnation, no pride. Just love.
He had to go through the fire to learn it, but he’s so glad he did.
I am so grateful for the wonderful people called Uncle P and Aunt M in our lives. I am grateful for their ongoing love and encouragement when G hits those times where the rejection of his family is just a bit too much to take. I’m once again struggling to understand and forgive.
Holidays are hard. That’s all.