Tylenol

Caring for step children..

Today is a day of Tylenol and cautious bossing. 

One of my beloved step-sons came to me yesterday, sick as a dog and feeling ever so sorry for his poor self. As a man does…

What do you do when your kids are sick? You boss them. 

You take their temperature, order them to drink fluids and eat toast, drug them up good and proper, and send them to bed. You may cart them off to the doctor against their will, or even take them to emergency if needed. 

It’s easy to take care of your own kids. However, with step kids, it gets a bit more complicated. 

Their mom does it differently than you. She may hold off on medication or give it sooner, she may have other pet remedies she tries, she may feed them different things. And most importantly of all, you’re just not their mom. You’re not going to do it like her.

This poses an intimidating predicament. 

Both myself and my step sons’ mother are nurses by trade. However we tend to approach things a bit differently, as most everyone has their own way of taking care of others, nurse or not. While I do my best to care for her children, the thought of what she would say or do is always in the back of my mind. Thankfully I am incredibly fortunate to have one of my oldest friends as my kids’ paediatrician. This works well for instances where he gets a text saying “so what do I do with THAT?!” Nothing like texting your kid’s doctor whenever you please and getting an immediate response! Thank you, Michael. You rock!

I feel covered 🙂

Coping with sick kids is one of the tricky parts of being a step mom. There are many other tricky parts. Things you just take for granted as a mom become matters wrought with complications and hurt feelings and miscommunications when step kids are in the picture. 

I’m still learning how to do this whole step mom thing. How to have confidence in myself and my abilities to parent. How to make sure everyone is treated equally, even though every kid has different needs, communication styles, and love languages. 

Being a step mom is not for the faint of heart. There’s been many a time when I’ve had my feelings hurt and my heart crushed and we are only in our first year at this new gig called “a blended family”. My poor husband has been stuck in the middle more than once between his ex-wife and myself. 

If you know a step mom, encourage her. This is harder than regular mom-ing. It’s even harder than being a foster mom. Believe me, I’ve done both.

If you are a step mom, I get it! This is whole new level of parenting! I’d love to talk with you and learn how you do it in your house. Every family is different, but every mom is still a mom. She is trying her best to figure out how to love all her kids in the best way she knows how. 

H.

2 thoughts on “Tylenol

  1. My only advice or suggestion would be make sure you don’t get too involved, embroiled and dragged straight into a drama.

    Exes and children can be a tricky one there’s no two ways so set your stall out and draw up a list and then a big line with your husband on what’s acceptable and respectful and what she’s pulling out of spite.

    If her kids are unwell and coming to yours I’d ask whether she wants them to have any particular food, drink, meds and that kind of thing. Mum should be respected on all things medical and health and safety kind stuff but over and above all of that, you and your husband have the right to do as he likes whenever he likes.

    Just as I wouldn’t allow other people’s kids to throw hissy fits in my house, I wouldn’t allow an ex to dictate what I do and when. You don’t need to go war with her and you don’t need to impress and feel you’re under huge pressure to make best goddamn stepmother award.

    Be yourself and just yourself. The kids have a Mum already they don’t need another. Chill, kick back and worry about what’s never worth a moment of worry.

    😀 😀

    Like

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