The Triangle of Unfortunate Selections

Someone said to me ” I don’t know how you do it.

I replied “I wasn’t given a choice.”

It’s been just over two years since I did the unthinkable. I told my shocked then husband that he needed to leave. On our wedding anniversary no less. What a way to commemorate our life together! Irony abounds…

How did it come to this? How does a  family who has fostered and adopted children, lead worship as a team, and put in 17 years together end up walking down the road to divorce? It happened slowly over a period of many years and culminated in me choosing between three options: 


An Affair


Not exactly fantastic options to choose from.

I remember that day. It was spring. The sun was shining and the birds were singing and the kids were outside playing on the trampoline. I was hiding in my room, staring into space and trying to figure out what in God’s name I was going to do. I had spent so many years telling myself I was stuck, that I couldn’t get out, that I was sentenced to live like this for the rest of my life. 

I just couldn’t do it anymore. 

Suicide didn’t seem like an option. I couldn’t do that to my kids and my family

An affair wasn’t an option. While I knew the temporary elation would be great, the lasting pain to so many people wouldn’t be worth it. And it would end up destroying me anyway.

I only had one option left. It terrified me and filled me with fierce hope all at the same time. Maybe, just maybe I would do this. I could be free. I knew that the fallout would be huge. But I had no idea just how huge it would turn out to be. 


photo credit: تحديث الساعة 3:30 عصراً | يوم السبت 23-2-2019

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