How to support a friend going through separation or divorce

Friends pick us up when we fall down.

And if they can’t pick us up, they lie down and listen for a while.


Make her soup. Believe me, she will need it.

Call her to go for coffee or tea. Don’t wait for her to call you because she won’t. Reaching out to people is too overwhelming. 

Text her each and every day to let her know you’re thinking of her.

Take her kids for her when she needs to go to appointments, or just needs a break for a while. 

Offer to be that safe place for the kids to go when she’s not home and the kids need to get out of the house before their father shows up in a rage. (This was huge. True story)

Assure her that you’re 100% behind her. That you love her. That you aren’t judging her or talking about her behind her back. She will need this too. After losing people and being the target for so much gossip, you start to doubt that anyone is loyal. 

Ask her to go shopping with you, or to yoga, or to a movie, or even for a walk. She will need to get out of the house and remember who she is as a person. Sometimes we need someone else to do this for us in the midst of everything happening in our lives. 

Be there to listen. She will need to rant and rave and cry and talk and she will need you there to listen to her. To console her and comfort her and encourage her. Only offer advice if she asks you for it. Your role is to listen, not to change her or the situation. 


Photo credit: Holding Hands- Victoria Harbour Ferry

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